It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
