so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
