Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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