apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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