it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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