we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
