Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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