possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
