got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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