Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
