A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
