I'm really into asian looking animals
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
