so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
