i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
