i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
