I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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