Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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