I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
