"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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