At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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