yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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