but the lizard people decide everything anyway
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
