You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize