you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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