Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
