For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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