you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
