Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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