Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
