He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize