I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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