we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
