dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I see more hoeing in ur future
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