We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The uberlube is also flammable
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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