I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
