He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Randomize
