so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
