I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
They took my balls.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
