Small penises have feelings too.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
