i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
