You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
