Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
