making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
