i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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