Sponge bath it is.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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