if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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