If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
