How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
