I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
