Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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