Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
