my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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