He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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