I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
