How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
