capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize