I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
