I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
