He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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