What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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