And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
