It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
